Saturday, April 7, 2018

Dread

Hubby and I were talking. He said how much he dreads death.

He’s Christian and believes in heaven and hell, but still dreads it.

I’m an atheist and don’t dread death. Not anxious to get there but don’t dread it.

My fear is only the process of dying; that 10 or so minutes after one’s heart stops but the brain is still processing being slowly deprived of oxygen until the end.

My fear is knowing what’s happening and not being able to do anything about it.

It’s something we all go through and millions have experienced before us but it still scares me.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Augh!

While doing my third set of crunches, my midsection cramped up thus proving a human can curl into a ball like a possum.

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Memory

Sometimes the past unexpectedly pops back into my mind to haunt me.

This is one of those occasions.

This started on a Tuesday night in 1973 with a phone call.

“Hello?” Picking up the harvest gold phone on the second ring.

“Hi. This is Jan. I wanted to know if you’d like to go to church with me on Sunday.”

“I don’t normally go to church,” I replied.

“That’s the point. The minister told us we should invite someone who doesn’t go to come with us. You’re the only person I know that doesn’t go to church.”

She had me there. It had been at least 10 years and then I went because it was my sister’s wedding.

“Won’t your boyfriend, Russ, get upset?”

“No. He already goes to a church.”

“I suppose.”

“Fine. Pick me up at 9:30 Sunday. We don’t even have to stay for the whole thing.

Sunday rolled around. I dressed in my best looking Levi’s and a white shirt. I didn’t have much else to wear since all my money from my part time job went to keep a 6 year old Camero running. Wasn’t going to spend money on clothes I wouldn’t wear to school and work.

I went to Jan’s house and we rode together to the church. I stayed awake during the sermon but otherwise it wasn’t memorable. There was a point during what I assume was a final song, Jan turned to me and said “let’s go.”

No one seemed to notice us sneak out the church door.

On the way back to Jan’s house we engaged in a bit of small talk. But during a pause in the conversation Jan said “just so you know this isn’t a date. I don’t think of you that way.”

“I know. You and Russ are an item. I’m not going to hit on a friend’s girl.”

“That’s a relief. Russ and I had sex for the first time several weeks ago. I was afraid I was pregnant. I planned to accuse you of rape to keep him out of trouble, but don’t worry. I’ve got my period now so there’s nothing to worry about.”

Stunned silence filled the car. Jan babbled something more but I didn’t hear it.

I carried her home in silence.

Friday, October 13, 2017

My Day

Spent most of the day loading Windows updates on the servers. Mind numbing job. 

What a relief to go to gym after work for back training. Really felt good. 

Stopped by CVS to pick up a prescription. Hate that I had to change drug store because of insurance. Don’t like CVS. 

They didn’t have any medicine in stock so I had to go to another store. 

On the way to second store, picked up asparagus, fruit, tomatoes, and shrimp to cook for my dinner. 

Then went to Chinese restaurant for Hubby’s dinner. Took about 30 minutes to get to second CVS. 

Second Store didn’t have script ready. I must have looked a bit perturbed because they rushed to fill script. 

Had to wait for a person to write a check. Can you believe people still write checks? 

Another delay with Hubby’s food getting cold and me still needing to cook mine. 


Did I mention that I don’t like CVS? 

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Maybe Someday

I wish progress came more rapidly. 
 
I know! I know! Don’t we all? 
 
I keep a spreadsheet with measurements. Update it each quarter. 
 
In May, flexed bicep was 15.5 inches. Yesterday it was 15.75 inches. 
 
So much hard work for a quarter of an inch that in reality could be a 
measurement anomaly. 
 
Oh well; back to the gym. Going to hit 17 inches someday. 

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Drive Time

Everyday I glance at my phone to check the time before leaving work. 


Everyday, it tells me the drive time to the gym. 


I don't tell it that I'm going to the gym. I don't ask for driving conditions between work and the gym. 


Regardless, it's there. 


I have to admit that I'm a little freaked out that my phone knows me so well. 


I feel a little shame when I think I'm in a bit of a rut. 


Maybe I'll surprise my phone and stop off for a beer then go home. 


Somehow I think it will anticipate that and give me the drive time to a bar. 

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Roller Coaster



Last night I had a dream.

In the dream, I was on a roller coaster; but the roller coaster had a car that was for a single person. It was also fully enclosed with wide expanses of glass allowing me to see out.

I was riding along and the scenery I passed through was beautiful. There were jungle scenes, underwater scenes, beauty everywhere I looked.

But I realized I had been on the roller coaster for a very long time and really needed to get off.

But no one could hear me when I yelled out that I needed for the ride to end.

It just kept going and going and I was feeling ever more frustration.