Saturday, December 17, 2016

I Swept the Deck

I swept the leaves off the deck; mulched them and put them in a bin to be hauled off. So proud and I didn't have to hire a professional.

Let me go back to a conversation between Hubby and me a few days ago…

Hubby - There are bunches of leaves on the deck. It's a real mess.

Me - Yeah, I haven't had time or available bins to put the leaves in. I concentrated on the front yard so the Christmas decorations would look better without a bunch of leaves all over the yard.

Hubby - Well we need to hire a professional to get the leaves off the deck.

Me - A professional?

Hubby - Yes, a professional. It's such a mess there has to be a professional who can get the leaves off the deck. I just don't see another way.

Me - A professional… Today, could you take a broom and sweep the leaves off the deck?

Hubby - No, they need to be gotten up. I don't know. They need to be gone somehow.

Me - Like with the vacuum mulcher that I use in the front yard?

Hubby - Maybe. But they need to go away. We need a professional.

Me - If you sweep the leaves off the deck, I can mulch and bag them. The city will pick them up on Tuesday. They come every week.

Hubby - No, no. We need a professional. This is too big a job for us.


It took less than 5 minutes to sweep and about 10 minutes to mulch the leaves. I guess that makes me a professional. Wonder how much I can charge…

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Food Prep

Have you ever been doing weekly food prep and realized you were short two entrees?

Have you rushed to the freezer in hopes of finding one thing, anything that would fill two more plates?

After scrounging through the freezer, stumble across something hidden in the back? Not just hidden, forgotten. So forgotten that one must chip away the frost to free the container from the shelf?

Have you ever hoped against hope that somehow this contains something still edible? What could this be? Chili or beef stew? When opened, it looked somewhat like Alpo.

“Maybe it's ok” you think as you thaw it in the microwave. But when thawed, it doesn't smell like stew but more like something fresh from one’s colon.

“What's that? You never did that?”

“Oh! Ah… me neither.”

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Weary Mnd

When I lay me down to sleep;
It's to the gym my thoughts do creep.
With grunts and groans, my muscles ache;
My stomach growls; I want a steak!

I toss. I turn. I can not sleep.
I think, "Might try to count some sheep."
One Sheep; Two Sheep; There's a lamb.
My stomach growls, I want a ham!

Barbell, Dumbbell, Kettlebell and more!
They haunt my mind. This is a chore!
One more set. One more rep.
Bigger; Badder; I want a bicep!

Get up and try a pushup or two.
I swear an oath; "trainer, I will sue!"
Low these many sleepless nights I find;
No rest for my subconscious mind.